This past weekend nothing could stop me from going to a Target store. Although my shopping of choice is cyberspace, I have a Target craving once in a while. I love shopping there, but it’s been months since I stepped foot on that one-stop shopping heaven.
The store is always neatly stocked with merchandise and on any given day, shoppers are frantically walking the aisles with loaded carts. That day I wasn’t in a rush at all, leisurely pacing the shelves in slow motion, feasting my eyes on the goods on display. It was something I couldn't do while cyber shopping so I took advantage of the rare occasion.
When I felt that I had enough, I got in line at the checkout counter. Ahead of me was a tall brunette who seemed to struggle with her personal organization. She took out envelopes from her gigantic bag. Each envelope contained cash and the envelopes were labeled “Paper,” “Food,” etc. In other words, items that the money contained in the envelopes were budgeted for. I thought that was a great idea! My only concern was having to carry cash when a Target REDcard that drew funds from my checking account was more convenient.
The woman took her sweet time at the counter. She engaged the clerk in conversation, which slowed down the checkout process, and the girl was only too eager to indulge. Elizabeth (the checkout girl) seemed to find delight in chatting while carrying on the seemingly boring task of scanning merchandise.
When my turn came, the woman took a very long time organizing her bag and didn’t leave right away. She overheard me tell Elizabeth, “Do you have a big bag? You see, I have to take the bus home.” Those were the magic words. Instantly, the woman turned to me and asked: “Do you need a ride? Do you live far from here? I have a car and can take you home.”
If these aren’t tough times when people can get killed or molested riding in strangers' cars, I would have been tempted to let her give me a lift. But I thanked her and told her that I still needed to go to other places before heading home. We chatted as we walked towards the exit together and by the time we reached the shopping cart area, our conversation took on a deeper tone.
She confided that her car was a gift from God as the money came from her disability payment. She struggled with the decision to buy a car and decided to go for it as she was already tired riding the bus for the past four years. That was the reason that she loves to give back whenever an opportunity presented itself. There was no hesitation when she confided that her husband committed suicide in his car and it took a couple of days before anyone found him. For her it was a good thing (her husband's death, that is) because she had to put up with a life of physical abuse during her marriage. She couldn’t leave him because she had no means to support herself and her little girl. After the husband’s death, she received a monthly payment from Social Security which allowed her to go to school and become a nurse. But because she experienced debilitating poor health, she eventually had to quit working and file for disability.
In the 15 minutes we chatted, I got a montage of her sad life… the physically abusive marital relationship, the constant struggles and financial hardship. One thing became very clear and that was her personal relationship with her God. She said that although she didn’t go to church regularly and participate in the religious rituals, she’s always talking to Jesus like a daughter to her father. But she couldn’t understand why despite her closeness to Him, she continues to live a “give and take” pattern in her life. That is, although she receives blessings, after a while those get taken away from her. At this time, her fear was losing the car that she bought from her disability check. Her car insurance is running out and she didn’t know where the next payment would come from.
I reminded her that things that happen in our lives occur for a reason. I assured her that the hardships she is encountering now might not be meant to test her faith and character, but the people in her life. Her daughter is now living on her own and has a job. I told her that maybe her current financial hardship is a message that it’s time for her daughter to return the favor and take care of her.
I thought that our conversation would have no end, but eventually, she said goodbye and reminded me that she offered me a ride as a way of paying it forward. We shook hands and she told me that her name was Barbara.
I have never before had such a profound conversation with a fellow shopper. I know that it happened as God's way of letting me know that my own problems are miniscule compared to others. While my own troubles are few and far between, many others have seemingly unbearable burdens to carry.
My encounter with Barbara might have also left her with a divine assurance that things will get better in her life. That's exactly what I communicated to her. Just hang on because we don't get the load that we can't carry. Everything will be fine.
I certainly hope that she paid attention.
I certainly hope that she paid attention.
