"If I can lift you up when you're down, I would have done a very good job! Thank you for dropping by."



Sunday, June 5, 2011

Home remedies

My BFF Josie received these tips via e-mail and passed along.  Thanks, sistah!

 Home Remedies:
 
 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
     Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
     and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly
     removed.
 
 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
     vegetables by getting someone else to hold them
     while you chop away.
 
 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
     toilet seat by simply using the sink.
  
 4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
     yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the
     pressure in your veins..
 
 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm
     clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going
     back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
  
 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
     laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
 
 7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a
     hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

AND...  Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are:  You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
 
And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when
you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.