Once I overheard three people chatting about the state of today’s dating scene. One guy, who seemed to be in his early 50’s said: “I don’t want to be in it. Period.” The response from the woman who looked like she could be in her late 50’s: “I have to agree. It must be really hard out there.” The second guy (probably 60-something) said: “I’d rather be stuck with my wife. After 21 years, she knows me by now.”
On the bus the other day, an elderly gentleman with a nice European accent told the woman beside him (his neighbor from the way they were talking about their mutual neighbors) that he was in his 60’s and that he was looking for a nice Jewish woman to date. The woman said that she would recommend him to someone she knew, who happened to be Jewish.
I used to ride with a woman after work who unabashedly flirted with the bus driver. Both appeared to be in their late 50's or early 60’s. One time she even brought him a chocolate cake from someone’s birthday party at work. I was usually the last passenger because I got off at the final destination. One evening, the woman, who typically got off many stops before mine, rode with me to the end. She didn’t get off when I did, but rode with the driver to the garage. Based on their conversation, she was having dinner with him at the end of his shift. I stopped taking that bus route because I felt like an intruder on their budding bus romance. There’s nothing wrong getting involved with a bus driver, but there’s a time and place for everything. A driver and passenger flirting with each other during the driver's shift was not only unprofessional, it’s a bus accident waiting to happen.
From what I've observed around me, and conversations picked up from people who are actively into the matching game scene, today’s dating world is a hodgepodge of several scenarios:
* the direct approach (boy or girl purposely go to bars to make a connection);
* word-of-mouth association (friends recommend dating partners for people
they know);
they know);
* Internet dating clubs (cyber singles clubs that, for a fee, will find the best suited
matches);
matches);
* cyber dating (e-mailing each other and, if there's compatibility, eventually pursue a
face-to-face meeting);
face-to-face meeting);
* catalog dating (photos are published for the picking, notoriously known as
Mail Order Bride);
Mail Order Bride);
* speed dating (singles go to a place, sit at a table and chat with a candidate for
3 minutes or so until the bell rings, and the process is repeated as often as
necessary);
3 minutes or so until the bell rings, and the process is repeated as often as
necessary);
* church singles clubs (people of the same faith try each other out).
The above might only be just a few of the known and prevalent dating match-ups. There could be more!
In my time (the nostalgic 1960-70's), when a boy was interested in a girl, he came to visit her at home. He sent her love notes and flowers, even called to find out how she's doing. Eventually, if a mutual attraction developed, they went steady and if they were really meant for each other, they got married and raised a family.
In my time (the nostalgic 1960-70's), when a boy was interested in a girl, he came to visit her at home. He sent her love notes and flowers, even called to find out how she's doing. Eventually, if a mutual attraction developed, they went steady and if they were really meant for each other, they got married and raised a family.
Today’s dating practices have become totally alien to me. Whatever happened to meeting someone in school, at a party or at work and pursuing that opportunity the old-fashioned way? Why would people want to spend money on dating clubs and possibly getting hooked up with a serial killer? These days women go to bars hoping to meet Mr. Right. Wrong! I’m sure that there are nice guys going to bars for a drink, but that’s not the ideal place to find someone who is marriage material.
I think that supermarkets and home improvement stores might be the ideal venues for the love search. Men who go there are certain to be domesticated. Those who frequent the home improvement stores might even be homeowners (translation: financially grounded). They might not be the types who love to hang out in watering holes and flirt with the bartender.
Women who are looking for the one might like to consider the following check-out ways:
* Ask the guy what he's looking for in a relationship. If you don't see any
commonalities, move on.
commonalities, move on.
* Find out his credit score. If he can't be financially responsible, how can you trust
him with your money?
him with your money?
* Find out if he has any savings. If he has nothing to show for 10 years of work, will
that bother you?
that bother you?
* Check out his relationship with his family, specially his mother. If his own flesh and
blood has nothing good to say, consider it a red flag.
blood has nothing good to say, consider it a red flag.
* If he introduces you to his friends, that means he has nothing to hide. No friends?
Another scary red flag!
* If he's married when you met and his marital status didn't keep him from giving you
the pick-up line, run for your life! If he can cheat on his wife, he'll do the same to
you when you end up with him.
the pick-up line, run for your life! If he can cheat on his wife, he'll do the same to
you when you end up with him.
Many people rank good looks as number one on their “looking for the Right One” list. Please strike that out and replace it with kindness. Physical looks can go away with age, but kindness stays for the long haul. Kindness will go past your bad moments, take care of you when you’re sick, make you feel loved even in times when you can’t even love yourself. Kindness is the tie that binds until death do you part!
