Yesterday was my first day at the office in 2011. I woke up upbeat and raring to go to work despite the storm of snow from New Year's Eve that still covered the roads. I guess all the members of the shoveling crew gave themselves the holiday as an excuse to not do their job! It was a stressful chore just trying to get to the bus stop when ice was all over the sidewalks. My concern wasn’t so much as possibly scratching my snow boots from all the hardened snow they made contact with as the paranoia of falling. A couple of Christmas Eves ago, I fell on block ice just outside the church. For two weeks, I walked with a lot of pain and with the slowness of a turtle. Therefore, the likelihood of falling wasn’t something I looked forward to.
Because of all the strategic steps I did to maneuver the icy patches, what typically would have taken me mere five minutes on a normal day, took me a quarter of an hour to reach the bus stop. My reward was getting on a bus that had only me and another passenger in it! Usually, during school days the bus would be half-packed by the time it picks me up.
I walked to my workplace feeling motivated to get back after three days of not thinking about my job. Then as the morning progressed, a colorful pad caught my eye as I stood three feet away from the photocopier. It’s a pack of sticky notes called Stuck On You Laugh Notes by Hallmark. Its primary function is to be a post-it note, but because it has “100 laugh-filled ways to brighten someone’s days,” I couldn’t help but look at it as a stress reliever too. Someone in the office (bless their heart!) obviously thought that the copy room was where that thing belonged.
Let me quote some of the lines and maybe each funny expression will bring a smile on your face too!
Why is it when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic? (Lily Tomlin)
Don’t’ stand for gossip! Sit down and make yourself comfortable for gossip.
Stress Cure: Take two cookies and call in sick.
My idea of super bowl is a toilet that never has to be cleaned.
Massages feel great. Too bad they can’t find a way to do it without touching us.
Love means seeing each other at your worst and not running for the door.
Every cloud has a silver lining. And soon they’ll figure out a way to tax us for that, too.
Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company. (Mark Twain)
The secret to great home-cooked meals is getting someone else to cook them. In their home.
You can’t choose your relatives. (You can choose to ignore ‘em, though.)
Never trust a psychic who has caller ID.
I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. (A. Whitney Brown)
It’s already happened. The previews on rented DVDs are longer than the movie.
Driving an ice-cream truck wouldn’t be so bad if you got to take home your work with you.
If we could all clone ourselves, we finally might be able to get everything done.
Gas prices are higher than a dog’s hopes at a cookout.
If they redesign our workplace, I hope they don’t change our hide-and-nap places.
They call it fast food because that’s how long it takes to regret eating it.
The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax. (Albert Einstein)
Work is where you go after you’ve developed one or two bad habits like eating and buying stuff.
Everything’s funny as long as it’s happening to somebody else. (Will Rogers)
Weren’t robots supposed to be doing all the crap job by now? What happened?
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, “Let there be light!” There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. (Ellen DeGeneres)
Life is better with a sugar buzz on.
On days when your hair is perfect, you will see no one.
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. (H.L. Mencken)
Old friends are the best friends. Not the same with doughnuts.
A good friend won’t tell anybody if your hair color is fake… or if anything else is either.
We’re never late. Everyone else is way too on time.
I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it. (Mae West)
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. (Will Rogers)
All the best diets have one thing in common. They start tomorrow.
The secret to looking young is to having friends who look older than you.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. (Mark Twain)
Anything worth doing is worth hiring someone else to do.
Don’t interrupt your mother unless you’re offering to clean the house.
Time flies when you’re running around doing ten damn things at once.
We don’t have time for impatient people.
I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens. (Woody Allen)
This too shall pass. NOW would be good.
The last one’s my favorite! If we all find something to laugh about, we'll just might make it through another year. Just kidding!
