Invite an elephant into your home

We all know that elephants are huge creatures living in some kind of jungle.  But do you know that an elephant, better yet a family of elephants, should have a space in your home?

The elephant figurines or statues, that is, not the living creatures.  In my research, I learned that elephants carry a great amount of auspicious symbolism.  In many Asian cultures, the elephant is revered and is regarded as a sacred animal.  In Buddhism the elephant is a celestial animal because this creature is one of the sacred treasures of Buddha. It is regarded as a symbol of morals and dignity. 

In the Chinese and Indian cultures, elephants have the reputation of attracting wealth.  In both countries, the elephant is used to represent wisdom, loyalty, longevity and elegance.  In Thailand and India, it is a symbol of good luck and excellent fortune.  In those countries, images and statues of kings and deities are often riding on elephants. 

In feng shui, this animal activates the positive energies of power, strength, longevity, prosperity, fertility, and wisdom.  The elephant is also considered a strong symbol of good luck and success.  It acts as the grantor of wishes and the household protector.

If a trunk-up elephant statue or a pair is placed at the front door, it brings good luck, strength and protection to the household because these creatures are sometimes referred to as elephants of many blessings.  The trunks facing upwards represent good luck, prosperity and victory.  Elephants with their trunks facing downward are believed to represent conception and longevity. 

Placed as the gatekeepers and guardians at the front entrance of the home, the elephants’ trunks raised in a trumpeting motion and standing on their rear legs, this posture symbolizes power and protection.  It heralds good fortune, prosperity, good luck and victory.  The elephants keep the power that you attract, guarding  and keeping  the power inside the home.

If you need to attract power or have the need to maintain it in your office or business, place an elephant in the entrance hall or near the front door.  It is believed that this will not only help you achieve the power, but will allow you to keep that power secure.

I’ve had a few elephant figurines and statues in my home even before I knew anything about feng shui.  My sister gave me a long family of elephants.  The only ideal place to put them was on my mantel above the fireplace.  That’s where the family has been since then.  From my research, I realized that putting the elephant figurine on a high location was the right thing to do.  Figurines or statues of trunk-up elephant are best placed high on a mantel, shelf or altar but never in the direction of the entrance or front door.  The symbolic meaning is trumpeting the good news. 

There is a big elephant statue standing at the corner of my living room fireplace.  It seems like a good location for it as it welcomes guests at the front door. Fortunately, its raised trunk is not exactly pointing to the doorway!  Looking back to the two years I was unemployed after my layoff, that elephant must have done its job of protecting me. I may have lost two years’ worth of paychecks, but I managed to keep the roof over my head.  There might have been a brief period of adversity, but success wasn’t far behind.

My work associate who recently returned from Thailand brought me a mini black elephant with its trunk raised upwards.  I didn’t know what was inside the bright yellow mini gift bag, but as soon as I saw the elephant, I screamed from great joy.  The mini figurine now stands majestically on my overhead shelf at work.

Although elephant figurines are dime a dozen in Asian boutiques or Oriental gift shops, if you can’t find, or can’t afford, an elephant statue or figurine, pictures and drawings can be used.  Encouraging everyone to display this animal in their home might not be a bad idea because based on my personal experience living with replicas of this creature, I enjoyed all the luck I needed at the time I needed it. 

I hope that should you decide to keep an elephant or a family of elephants in your home, you too will be showered with the blessings of good luck and success in life.  As in everything else, you’ll never know what's in store for you until you give it a try!

The sister I never had

One of my life’s many blessings is being a member of a high school batch that has stayed united for over four decades.  Our graduation was in the late '60s.  During the recent past, a husband and wife (who met in the same high school) made it their business to track down the members by setting up our exclusive high school website.  By word-of-mouth, batch mates from different parts of the globe came forward and posted their biographical profiles, including current photos.  The result is an electronic photo album accessible to all members and even the rest of the world.

I feel most fortunate that loyalty has become a trademark of my past.  From my high school years spent at that Spanish university campus, I met Josie B. who has become my BFF (best friend forever). We met in freshman year, the only time we shared a classroom, yet somehow over the years our connection became stronger.  Today our 46 years of friendship continues to thrive.  We live in different states in America, but thanks to the post office, the telephone and the Internet, the more than 1,000 mile geographical distance has never been a barrier. We’re still the best of friends!

In this age of breakable bonds and dying loyalties, count it one of life’s great gifts to have a lifelong friend.  Come to think of it, when we were in college, Josie moved thousands of miles away to another country in another continent.  Yet despite the great distance across the vast Pacific Ocean, we managed to keep our bond intact.  Our communication was frequently erratic, but our ties never suffered from it.  I believe that because we were both blessed with a love for letter-writing, communicating on paper never became a challenge for us.  That is one precious skill we’re most grateful to the Good Lord!

Josie's witty disposition has always brought me joy and laughter.  Her sense of humor is contagious!  I remember back in the high school days, we giggled a lot.  Then as we graciously aged, the giggles mellowed into conversations filled with sage and wisdom.  Although she's easy-going, Josie learns her lessons well.  In high school, she was once caught coming in late by our high school principal, an incident that inspired her to coin the word “tardyphobia.”  You see, our principal (may she rest in peace!) had the personality that could send anyone cowering in fear.  Since that encounter with the principal more than forty years ago, she has never been late for work.

With Josie no topic is ever held sacred.  We enjoy no holds barred conversations of anything under the sun. Usually, once I’ve spilled my guts on whatever is bothering me, I feel great relief.  She has extended moral, emotional and spiritual support just when I needed it.  I’m not sure that many women have the blessing of a lifetime friend.  If not, they better start looking for one!

Josie and I have often wondered if we might have been real sisters in another lifetime.  If not, it doesn’t matter because we have already adopted each other in this lifetime.  Adam, Josie’s first-born, is my godchild which has made our bond stronger and permanent just like SuperGlue! 

What made us instantly click in high school was our mutual fondness for the Dave Clark Five.  Our crush back then was the same guy!  Over the years, we found out the things that we shared in common.  For instance, we're both the second daughters in our families.  We were both close to our parents who are now in a better place.  Josie and her siblings took care of their mother before she passed a few years ago.  I did my share of looking after mine when her condition deteriorated many years before Josie's parental caregiving days.  When they were alive, both our fathers were fond of growing plants in the garden.  We share a friendship with someone named Rosaline.  We both enjoy watching "Dancing With The Stars."  Recently, we realized that we have the same curiosity for our family's genealogy.  Josie's deceased mother's maiden name originated in Portugal.  My late father's forefathers have roots in Spain where a tourist place is named after the family.  Josie and I have made a pact to visit Portugal and Spain when the elusive windfall finally drops on our lap.

Throughout my grade school, high school and college years, I developed many friendships which didn't stand the test of time as my connection with Josie has.  The four decades I spent in the workplace also allowed me to establish new circles of friends.  Only my relationship with Josie has remained constant.  I wish everyone can experience the gift that Josie and I are blessed with.  We have an unconditional love for each other that knows no boundaries.  We can share our deepest thoughts knowing that there's someone at the other end who will care to listen.

Obviously, what kept our ties strong is our close relationship with our Heavenly Father.  Praying is our passion!  You see, it’s true that “birds of a feather, flock together”!  I wish that everyone would have someone to call their BFF in their lifetime.  I can’t help but think that I must have done something right because God gave me the sister I never had.  Thank You, Jesus!

Today my BFF turns 60.  Happy birthday, sister Josie!

Our home’s sacred zone

An altar has always been a fixture in my life.  I remember the special elevated niche in my childhood home where the statues of Jesus and the Blessed Mother held court.  In those impressionable young years, someone told me that if I wrote a note to God or His Mother, I might get my wish. I remember writing a letter and leaving the folded paper under the statue, but today I have no memory of what it was about!

People might have differing definitions of an altar.  Mine is a sacred place on a raised platform, where an image of my Heavenly Father and Mother are displayed.  The altar in the home can’t be anything but sacred because in all churches, the altar is the place where the important rituals and ceremonies are performed.

Until recent years, nothing much was written about altars in the home.  But I know for a fact that it exists in many households that have a devotion to Christian and non-Christian faith.  The altar is a focal point of reverence in the home, where prayers are said and where spiritual energy is spent on a daily basis.

Just like in the church, the home altar is a very important area as it serves as a place of worship.  Therefore, it should provide a special sanctum where a person can have a mental shift from the busy life routines to the realm of spiritual energy.  An altar is traditionally on an elevated piece of structure.  It can be located inside or outside the house (preferably under a roof), but should be situated in a quiet area, if possible far away from the sounds of outside traffic, to make it conducive for prayer and meditation.  An altar should inspire the winding down from the busy energy of the day.  It should be a place that provides comfort and relief, hope and peace.

The altar area provides boundaries that indicate its purpose as the personal sanctuary and spiritual space in the home.  Just looking at this sacred zone should emphasize its separation from the goings-on of daily living.  My altar at home is on a three feet glass-topped walnut sofa table that displays the images of the Infant Jesus, the Blessed Mother, and the Crucified Jesus.  The assembly of the holy figures never fails to bring a sense of peace every time I catch a glimpse of it.  It is the first and last view I see when I open and close my front door. 

Items to put on the altar depend on one’s spiritual purpose.  People put holy objects, icons, food offerings, photos of deceased loved ones, candles, flower or plant arrangements and incense.  It is appropriate to include anything that is symbolic because the items make the space a special area in the home.  Therefore the construction or furniture in that space is not as important as what the area represents in our house when we interact with it.

In feng shui, the most auspicious location for an altar is in the area that faces the entrance of the home so that it is the first thing that greets us when we open our front door.  Symbolically, it means protection for the home and people living in it.  An altar should never be located under a staircase or under an exposed beam or directly under the upstairs bathroom or in the bedroom.  It should not face the staircase landing or the bathroom door or share the wall of the bathroom.  Such arrangements are considered disrespectful and inauspicious.  

The benefit of having an altar is the enjoyment of positive energy it inspires every time we’re in that sacred zone.  It should resonate the away-from-the-maddening-crowd feeling as we wind down from the busyness of life outside.  Once we’ve been used to having an altar in our comfort zone, we’ll never ever want to live anywhere without it.

The blogging of the universe

Recently, I made a conscious effort to check out the blogging situation on the world wide web.  I have to confess that although I’m what you can call a blogger, I never really went out of my way to read anyone’s blog before.  A long time ago, a work associate emailed me a link where I could create a blog for free, but I just never had the time to look into it.  If only I made the effort to check it out, I'll probably be a seasoned blogger by now.

Last month what happened to me was what I call fate waiting to happen.  One day after Thanksgiving, I found myself checking out ads on the Internet, and then finding the Google blogger page.  The next thing I knew I was blogging my life away!  What I find amazingly strange is that unlike any other projects I’ve put my mind into, the blogging activity proved to be enjoyable, effortless and painless.  Hallelujah!

You see, if I may bare my soul now, I’ve always considered published writing as my personal goal to achieve.  My first piece came out when I was only 14.  Since then I’ve published articles, features, poems and short stories.  In the 1980's I even enrolled in a correspondence school so that I could write a children’s book.  For two years I worked part-time as a correspondent for a newspaper, spending my weekends interviewing people.  But the dream of my life is to become a book author, hard-bound, and editions purchased by the masses.  Now that the book reality is still not on my radar screen, I’m doing the next best thing:  blogging away and getting read by an international audience.  My blogs are written from my U.S. home base and are read in 12 countries and six continents!  So may I take this opportunity to thank everyone who has been following my blogs.  I hope that you’ve enjoyed reading them as much as I’ve thoroughly loved sharing my thoughts with the anonymous world.  Even if my topics had inspired you to take a nap, you have my gratitude as well.

Since I took some days off from work last week, I had time to check out the blogs out there.  I was surprised to realize that folks aren’t just writing about their thoughts and opinions, family adventures, circle of friends or the daily journals of their lives.  Bloggers are writing about their dogs and other animals, politics, martial arts, long distance running, meals and recipes, culture, classical and organ music, gardening, photography, poetry, graphic design… and the list goes on.  It got me wondering: 
    
          Are people needing something to fill the void in their lives? 
          Or do they just need to create something to make idle time productive? 
          Perhaps it's their creative energy needing to be expressed? 
          Or the need to designate a common venue for friends and family to visit? 

Majority of the blogs look professionally done (which puts my page to shame), with lovely pictures and impressive font arrangements.  Some are written in foreign languages.  Whatever the motivation behind the blogs, I’m sure that the outcome has given the authors a sense of personal satisfaction as mine has brought me.  Many might have hopes of publicity at the back of their minds… and some kind of celebrity status in their social circles.  Who doesn't enjoy having bragging rights to being a writer's pal?

I write under the name I’ll use for my book so instant recognition (or personal celebrity, if you will) was never my agenda.  The genuine inspiration for me was, and is, to be able to let off steam and vent my emotions, chant about the great things that go on in the world, praise our Great Creator for all the blessings we’ve been showered with… switch a light bulb in someone's head... even point a finger on what’s going wrong with society.  In the end, I hope that I’ve done my share in propagating the goodness among mankind rather than pulling us further down the drain.  I know that if I were to follow someone’s blog, I’d rather read something of substance that will light up my life and sing a song in my heart.  If you’re one of my faithful readers, you certainly are looking for the same.

From my heart to yours:  Sincere thanks for reading me!      

Blisters and other warts

Today I’m in the mood to open the wound.  Figuratively speaking, of course.  I want to discuss the demons we’re fighting to eliminate from our personal universe. 

I’ll confess mine:  shopping until I dropped… buying material excesses until my bank account screamed “ENOUGH!”  That’s the bad news.

The good news is that the shopping mania is no longer a part of my life.  It happened in the old days when I thought that money would flow forever.  Many Saturdays would be spent at the mall, just window-shopping.  By the time I got home, the trunk of my car would be loaded with various department store bags.  The items usually consisted of clothes, accessories and shoes that I didn't really need.  Buying clothing and shoes wasn’t the only obsession.  If I saw a house décor that would fit my house, consider it bought.  There was a time when I was into exotic lamps.  If I didn’t find something that caught my eye in the stores, the mail order catalogs would get my undivided attention.  After I had purchased too many of those, my short attention span shifted to hanging crystals.  Or was it the cloisonné dragon and phoenix statues?  Anyway, you get the picture.  At one Chinese store that sold feng shui stuff, the owner would always follow me when he saw me enter the door.  That’s because he knew that I would never leave his shop empty-handed. 

In those hit-the-mall days, there was an international market that I loved to visit most weekends, whether to look for something to buy or to simply salivate over the enormous collection of ethnic merchandise on sale.  Every time I went there, I never failed to sample the coffee flavor of the day.  Usually, the sip was worth the try.  It was in that store that I found a huge laminated map of the world.  Right then and there I couldn’t resist the urge to grab it instantly.  It was a wise decision because the next time I visited, the map was sold out.  Obviously, a lot of people wanted a picture of the globe on their wall.  Not sure if their intention was to travel to those foreign places, but my plan is to be able to visit some of the countries on the map.  Consider it my manifestation of globe-trotting in my future.

Unfortunately, that international market shut down a few years ago.  There’s a similar store about 10 miles away from home, but without a car now it’s too much bother for me to go there.  Chasing after bus schedules is not my idea of weekend fun!  I have to think that my God is sending me a loud and clear message:  Quit the shopping and the spending!

I am even more convinced now that God took away my car (lost in a Thanksgiving Eve accident) for a good reason.  Not only was it no longer safe for me to drive (because I obviously snoozed on the wheel when the crash happened), He didn’t approve of my driving around to malls and shopping centers, wasting hard-earned money on material stuff that I can’t take with me to my grave.  So He brought a life-changing incident to stop that nonsense.

Today I have become the opposite of what I used to be.  From a seemingly incurable crazed shopaholic, I’ve become a tightwad when it comes to shopping.  Besides the recurring hesitation to spend on material things, I’ve learned to implement thrifty measures at every opportunity.  Now I know that unplugging most of my home appliances and using power strips can reduce my monthly power consumption.  From a typical triple-digit monthly power bill, the amount has gone down to double digits during the warm months, now becoming the rule rather than the exception in my household.  Hallelujah! 

In my sky’s-the-limit spending days, I would drive to the dinner theatre to watch a movie and enjoy a meal at the same time.  That’s a thing of the past!  These days I’d rather rent a dvd through the mail and enjoy watching a film right in my comfort zone.  Eating dinner at the same time and without spending a dime on fuel, movie tickets and served meals.  Now I get to appreciate my car loss because it opened my eyes to many things that would have gone unnoticed and unappreciated because my hands were on the wheel and my eyes were focused on the road.

Instead of spending time at the mall, I walk one block from my office to the nearby Walmart.  The store has really good stuff and reasonable prices to boot.  Also, I now go online to make my purchases at stores that are too far for me to visit.  Many times I luck out and find good bargains.  The merchandise gets delivered to me.  Even if I had to return the items, it was a painless process because I made it a point to deal with legitimate companies only.

Today’s world is full of options if we only allow ourselves to find them.  Most of the time, they’re right under our nose!  If we don’t allow ourselves to get too busy and distracted, the things we’re meant to find will certainly be found.

These days that I’m not out shopping, I spend more time enjoying life at home.  I've realized that if I surround myself with the things I love and enjoy, I don’t have a reason to go anywhere else.  I can now say with much certaintly:  I am the mall’s loss.  And I am proud of it!

My sincere hope is that other people’s warts are as curable as mine. 

The after-Christmas blitz

The day after Christmas can be a day of relief... or a day of attack.  Everyone who celebrated the season of Jesus can rest their weary bodies after the feast and reunion of families and friends.  Or they can get into the crazy after-Christmas sales with wild abandon. 

Pleae correct me if I'm wrong… Isn’t America in deep recession?  Can people really afford more shopping sprees so soon after the Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales post-Thanksgiving Day?  If you ask me, I’d rather go back to the office and work myself to death.  Come to think of it, it’s because I have a job and a regular paycheck that I can pay all my monthly bills and at the same time, save for retirement.  In return for this wonderful (and now very highly desirable) circumstance, my employer deserves my never-ending dedication and loyalty.  Right?

I really believe that someone should put together a seminar on “Why Having a Permanent Full-Time Job is a Blessing.”  Seriously!  You see, I can't help but notice that many folks prefer to spend energy on complaining about working all the time than counting their blessing.  One time I was in one of my favorite hangouts (the supermarket) when Sean (the customer service guy) mentioned that he had been working too much and not getting any rest at all.  Instead of giving him the “You poor baby” speech, I gave him a piece of my mind:  “That’s JOB SECURITY.  Do you know how many people can't even find a job these days?  I'm sure that anyone would like to be in your shoes right now.”  That brought a huge smile on his face.   Then he nodded saying, “Yeah, you're right,” as though the thought never dawned on him.

At another time, I was being checked out in a deli by a cheery girl named Gloria.  I asked her if she was working on Christmas Day.  She said, “Yes, but I don’t really mind.  At least I have a job unlike other folks.”  I almost applauded and would have given her a standing ovation, but I was already on my feet.  I love, love, love her attitude!  If more people in Corporate America come to work with a photocopy of Gloria’s bright outlook, the U.S. workplace won’t be in such a pathetic mess.

I used to work somewhere that came to life every Friday afternoon.  That's because the young ones would go out after business hours for Happy Hour.  Reason:  Their weeklong work had stressed them to the bone and they needed to unwind.  Perhaps I should have reminded them back then:  “If you didn’t have your job, would you be able to afford to pay for your drinks?”

If there’s anyone out there who feels that their work is a punishment, please rethink that thought.  Freeze that mindset.  Better yet, bury it under the dirt you step on.  If you’re very unhappy in what you do for a living, take the time to look for another job.  Do something else that will bring out your passion and pizazz.  Don’t settle for something that bothers you day in and out, week after week, all month and year long.  If you plug along unhappy in what you do, and SHOW IT, in the long run you’ll be doing yourself a disservice.  By finding work that makes you shine, you won’t only be doing yourself a huge favor, you’ll be contributing to the happy glow in the workplace.  Dr. Ophrah will tell you:  "If you're in a bad place, get out."

During my two-year job search following my layoff, I made it a priority to look for my next “home-away-from-home.”  At my interview with the Vice President of the company I now work for, I told him exactly that.  I believe that got me the job!  You see, employers would prefer to hire people who have the potential of being happy in their work place.  High employee morale is always great for the company as it results in a happy working environment.  Staff satisfaction augurs well for a positive production output.

Please forgive me if I digressed.  Weren’t we talking about after-Christmas sales?  Is anyone out there doing this crazy exercise?  If yes, count me out.  I think I’d rather stay home if the sales clerks won’t be nice and friendly.  I don’t blame them really.  If they’ve been working long hours this season, they might be grumpy for being on their feet so much.  But then again, shouldn’t they feel grateful for having work to do and getting paid for it?  For their own sakes, I hope they’re feeling the gratitude.  I really, really do.

Conversations with Jesus

There is a beautiful church in my city that I love to go to every Saturday afternoon. The time I go there is just after noontime and although all the heavy wooden carved doors are shut, there is always one that opens for those who want to visit.

I’ve spent many a Saturday afternoon there, just taking in the peace and quiet and the hopeful ambiance of the place.  Once in a while someone is upstairs on the balcony rehearsing a beautiful piece on the piano.  When that happens, all hell breaks loose because the sound can disrupt any serious concentration on even the most sincere of prayers.  The acoustics of the structure amplifies every piano key.

I love it when one of the church volunteers gets busy stocking candle holders with vanilla candles, or when someone is at the altar prepping everything for the Holy Mass.  But lately, most afternoons had been spent with just me and myself.  It’s been a nice experience, sitting there with the signs of life banished behind the church doors.

In the stillness, the only sounds would come from the little steps walking to the altar to pay respects to the Blessed Sacrament:  mine.  I always marvel at the beauty of the marble floors, always sparkling clean despite the thousands of pairs of feet that have walked all over them.

There are two prayer niches I never fail to visit in that church.  The one where a huge statue of the Crucified Jesus is present and another of the Suffering Jesus being consoled by His Mother Mary.  When I’m in those areas, I never fail to touch Jesus’ nailed Feet and His bloody Hand.  The gesture always gives me comfort.

Sometimes on those quiet Saturdays, other visitors would come to visit.  More often than not, they’re tourists from another place, apparent from their open curiosity of the beautifully designed church ceiling and magnificent marble pillars.  Sometimes they are accompanied by kids.  When that happens, there would be some noise in church because children aren’t comfortable with too much silence.

One time, there was a lady who was crying her heart out while she sat on one of the pews. I could hear her sobbing five pews away.  I didn’t know her, but I asked Jesus to grant whatever she was asking for because she looked extremely anguished.  Her painful demeanor touched my soul.  Whatever she was praying for must have been causing her so much hurt and discomfort.

There had been joyous occasions during my quiet time in that church.  Like recently, the staff holiday party in the basement was obviously a merry gathering of people.  The sound of their Christmas carols came up to the church and brought a happy mood in my heart.  There was lots of laughing and animated conversations.  I felt happy that there are folks who can be joyous despite these trying financial times.

When I leave the church, I always feel peaceful and joyful after taking time out of my weekend schedule to commune with the Lord.  Maybe it’s my Roman Catholic upbringing that inspires this wonderful emotion.  As far as I can remember, I have always mentally chatted with Jesus like a child would to her Beloved Father. 

My childhood friend across the Pacific once wrote to encourage me to take the time for Eucharistic Adoration.  She said that the exercise will recharge me physically, emotionally and spiritually.  The truth is I totally enjoy the time I spend just kneeling or sitting in church and carrying silent conversations with Jesus.  The exercise has helped me clear my head and get rid of any stress in my life.  It has actually saved me an expensive visit to the shrink's office.  I don’t know why people would rather pay a fortune going to the therapist when the best doctor in the world is always available for FREE!

I remain very grateful to my parents for raising me in a faith that has become my rock.  It has kept me from being blown away during life’s unpredictable windy battles.  The nuns and priests at the schools I attended reinforced the value of that religious conviction.  It is through their teachings that I got to know Jesus even better.  During moments of temporary insanity, I could have snapped and lost it completely.  Thanks to Jesus, I have learned to stay cool.  I may have been hurt often, but I remain unbroken.  My heart may have been stabbed a few times, but it has promptly mended and remains intact.  The nights may have ended in disaster, but the dawn always brought new light.  These things could have only been possible through the Goodness of my Invisible Friend, Brother and Father.  I love Him and I know that even if friends and family should abandon me, He will always be in my life.

Happy Birthday, Dearest Jesus!

The season for bonding

The other day my cyber mailbox brought an unexpected surprise: Holiday greetings from an old flame.  It was unexpected because I haven’t heard from him for a very long while.  I was beginning to worry that he might have gone into coma or something.  Well, he will be celebrating the Big 6-0 next year and, as we all know, anything can happen at any age.  In particular, the close-to-the-senior-citizen age!  A friend always reminds me that we have "one foot in the grave and the other one on a banana peel."  As it turns out, my old flame's fine as fine can be.  Just busy working at a job that took him many miles from home.

Thanks to Christmas, this is the season when I typically get to hear from long lost friends of yesteryears.  The people in my life are scattered all over the world, making it a challenge to see them in the flesh.  But as long as they can drop by my cyber mailbox anytime, that will work for me just fine.  It’s an assurance that I am present in their thoughts and that’s good enough for me!  

It’s so wonderful when people take the time to pause and re-establish roots and reconnect old bonds.  The holidays give us a pretty good excuse to make that happen.  A man and a woman who used to be a couple can find out if there might still be the old spark on the pretense of merely catching up.

People travel many miles by automobile, boat, train or airplane just to be with their families and friends at this time of the year.  Unfortunately, there are those who can’t make the trip as they’re busy performing their missions in foreign places where, hopefully, they are safe until it’s time for them to return home.

Celebrating the holidays will be challenging for those who have family members scattered all over the globe.  Thank God for Priority Mail, Overnight Delivery, long distance calls, Skype and the Internet.  These communication tools have allowed people to connect no matter where they are in the world and no matter the time of day. 

My work associate explained to me recently why he had to fly to different parts of the country, even the world, at every opportunity during the year.  The reason is to spend the holidays with his loved ones whom he can’t spend the time with on the actual occasions.  His son works as a missionary in Thailand and that’s where he and his spouse spent an early Christmas get-together in the fall.  Unlike him, I don't spend a fortune in airfares because being with my family is not a serious preoccupation.  Not when cyber communications have made it more affordable for me to keep the five-digit long distance miles from them closer.

For those whose families are tight and living in the same zip code, town, city, or state, count your blessing!  You have the good fortune to celebrate the holidays unhindered by travel schedules and expenses.  All you have to do is show up, eat, drink and be merry.  Rejoice in the presence of family and friends whose company you can enjoy without the burden of long distance travel.  That in itself is a blessing to be thankful for.

May this holiday season be a lovely time for every one!  It’s a once-a-year special occasion that allows us to forget the stress of work and the pressures of everyday living.  Let’s pause from our hectic, encumbered lives to embrace the authentic meaning of this season.   Thank God for keeping us in one piece... the roof over our heads... the hope in our hearts... and the blessing of being here.  Hopefully, our appreciation will go beyond the traditional time frame.  If we keep the holiday spirit alive throughout the years, the gladness in our hearts will forever remain.  It will become a lovely year-round celebration for one and all.

Happy holidays, my friends!

Society's forgotten children

The other morning I had a sad brush with humanity.  As I stood on the train platform working on my Word Search puzzle while waiting for my ride to work, a man burst into my concentration.  “Ma’am, do you have an extra bus transfer or ticket that I can have?”, he wanted to know.  He was very polite, and looked almost embarrassed to ask the question.  Unfortunately for him, I’m one of the countless commuters with a monthly bus pass who have the benefit of not carrying bus tranfsers or train tickets for my daily commute.

After I told the man that I didn’t have what he was asking for, I felt a tinge of guilt that I couldn’t help him.  He looked like someone who was definitely struggling, perhaps someone who could use a cup of coffee but didn’t have the money to buy it. 

When the train came, he took the seat across the aisle from mine.  Although I was working on my puzzle, the thought of reaching into my purse and giving him a couple of dollars occurred to me.  After all, it’s the season of sharing!  As soon as the thought came, so did the next train stop.  The man stood up and left.  That’s when the Roman Catholic guilt came on strong to nag me.  What would Jesus have done?  What if that man was Jesus?  

But, you see, many people like him had approached me in the past.  The only difference is that all of them demanded spare change, some wanting a dollar or two, not a spare bus transfer or ticket.  Those people were well dressed and looked strong enough to spend a day at work.  It made me wonder if the money they needed were to be spent on drugs or to get an instant fix for some kind of addiction.  Many people have resorted to panhandling to finance their vicious habits.  Such are real-world scenarios which have made it difficult these days to feel generous.  In every instance when I was approached, I always answered in the negative.  Call it lying through my teeth.  I've made it a conscious decision to not donate my money to random individuals, but to charities that will take care of needy people's needs.  I figured that if those panhandlers were really financially hurting, there are charitable groups they can go to for assistance.

Hopefully, I don’t encounter the same man on my morning commute.  If I do and he doesn’t find the need to approach people, good for him.  That means that his lot in life has improved and he can take care of his own needs.  If we meet again and he repeats the same request, I might start to wonder if he was doing it out of an authentic need due to a streak of misfortune… or it was his daily modus operandi to ride free.

I never thought I would ever see panhandlers on the streets of the U.S. city where I reside.  It’s a very depressing sign of our times.  If citizens find the need to go out and beg for money, it is a very sad statement of our economy indeed.  My sincere hope is that a turnaround for the better will happen soon.  It’s never fun to have to be approached by fellow citizens who beg for money for a living, whether they're truthfully financially hurting or not.  It has made me feel guilty when I can’t meet their needs.  And it’s depressing to see it happen in this country that used to enjoy great prosperity and abundance.

These days, my prayers not only include world peace and the good health and happiness of everyone in my life, but also the economic upliftment of everyone in my midst.  I hope that people who believe in the power of prayer will find it in their hearts to do the same.  If financially challenged folks don't find the need to populate the streets and beg for money anymore, it will be a hallelujah day indeed. 

The matter of hair

Yesterday’s morning ride to the office gave me a most fascinating view.  A blow-by-blow demonstration on how to create a perfect and beautiful hair bun.

A lady passenger sat two seats ahead of me.  She had lustrous, straight, black waist-length hair which was initially hidden under her white winter jacket.  As soon as she sat down, that beautiful mane of hair came out of hiding.  The woman then started twirling it tightly on the back of her head, making a tight coil first, then adding another until each layer got bigger as the twirling progressed.  When all the coils were neatly tucked into each other, she secured the bun with a bamboo chopstick.  The outcome looked
F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!  The gentleman behind her, one seat in front of me, couldn’t help but tell her what a good job she had done because the bun looked beautiful.  Her response:  "It's a necessity with long hair."  I too couldn’t help but admire the made-in-an-instant coiffeur and she did it without a brush and a mirror!  Unfortunately, I was two seats behind her and couldn’t chit-chat on the hair magic she performed in mere seconds.

I don’t know what others think, but I believe that our hair can make or break our appearance, especially our facial area. Just look at your pictures where you wear different hair styles and you'll know what I mean.  If you ask me, Fabio (21^st season Sole Survivor) looked more gorgeous with long blond hair in the wilderness than the auburn, short cut he wore at the show finale.  Agree or disagree?  But Sash (third guy in the Fabio-Chase-Sash triumvirate) looked more credible in his jelled hair look than the long hair and scruffy beard he sported in the jungle.

The school kids I ride the bus with in the morning know all about hair power.  I’ve seen young girls in beribboned or beflowered bouffant style hairdos, dreadlocked hair, long fuzzy or simply flowing manes.  The boys can’t be outdone.  Many wear funky spiked hairdos while others have crazy uneven cuts going on.  I’ve seen a few with mullet hairstyles or whose heads looked like tattoos were designed on them.  Hair appearance is definitely a passionate pastime for the young of today.  If I want to know what hair styles are in vogue, I need not bother looking at hair magazines.  The parade of hair during the morning bus ride to work will do.

I probably don’t need to convince anyone that men look younger with hair than without.  But in some cases, bald looks beautiful… and captivating!  Chase (Survivor runner-up) looks clean and polished with his closely cropped hair, but I’m curious how much more alluring he’ll look with hair galore and the right cut.  He might give Keith Urban some tough competition!

For many men, looking bald is not even an option.  People who suffer from hair loss, pay attention!  I read that olive oil can give hope to those losing their hair. Every night before going to bed, rub extra virgin olive oil on the scalp.  Shampoo and rinse in the morning.  Do this for eight consecutive days.  If hair roots grow right after treatment, thank the versatile olive oil!

There’s one memorable hair disaster that happened to me when I was in my late 20’s. In those days, I worked for a company whose president’s wife owned a hair salon in the same building.  It just opened at that time, and showing my patronage for the newly opened business venture, I dropped by one day after work for a perm.  The hairdresser who attended to me was extra friendly throughout the session and chatted like there was no tomorrow.  By the end of my visit, my hair looked like a dried tightly wired wig.  It looked really ugly and awful!  The company president noticed it immediately when we bumped into each other.  He knew that I had my hair done at his wife's salon so he assured me that he would instruct his wife to repair the damage.  Then he inquired, “What does your boyfriend think?”  My response was, “He didn’t even notice.”  The president said something to me that sounded like Beethoven to my ears:  “That means he really loves you.” 

Food for thought.

That got me thinking that our significant others, if they’re absolutely into us, won’t see the superficial mess we create for ourselves.  We can have an ugly hairstyle any time or a bad hair day, but it won’t matter to them.  The reason is sweet and simple:  the inner us is who really captivated their heart.   

Living the jungle lifestyle

Survivor Nicaragua, the 21^st  season of Jeff Probst’s reality show, wrapped up last Sunday night.  A blond 21-year old known as Fabio (real name:  Judson Birza) received more than half of the nine jury votes, crowning him the $1 million Sole Survivor who played to "outwit, outplay and outlast" his competition.

It was great to see all the 20 players looking all cleaned up, the real versions of themselves pre- and post-Survivor.  After spending many days (39 for the final three) in the jungle minus the conveniences of home, it must have been a total relief for everyone to get back to their real worlds.  Especially for that player named Dan Lembo who brought a pair of $1,600 leather shoes to the jungle.  Frankly, I couldn’t understand why he would even venture into the wild and starve himself to death if he had that kind of cash.  Maybe it’s the complacency of his real world abundance that pushed him to such an out-of-his-comfort-zone adventure.  People, rich or poor, need challenge to get them out of the doldrums of everyday living!

Jane Bright was the player I was rooting for to win.  This 56-year old mother was a hard working team player at camp, but rose to the occasion of Feisty Queen when it was called for. Her physique may look frail, but she outplayed her competition by winning two individual immunity challenges. A couple of tribal councils before the Final Four reveal, her own alliance might have voted her out, but the fans recognized her fantastic game play and recognized her as the “Sprint Player of the Season,” making her $100,000 richer.

I have to hand it to these Survivor players.  They might have made jungle life look likable on our TV screens, but it certainly must have been the worst experience in their lifetime.   Hopefully, for many of them, every discomfort was worth the trouble with the possibility of earning fame and fortune in their future.

And this Fabio guy will not only have a brighter future in his modeling career, he has the million dollars to spend and enjoy!  Hopefully, he remembers to donate some to charity and invest some for his future.  The runner-up (Chase Rice) lost by one jury vote, but he might end up pursuing a singing career.  Sash Lenehan, the third player in the top three, may not have received any jury votes, but his future might be brighter too after leaving the jungle. You see, chasing rainbows, even in the deepest and darkest forest, can end up finding the pot of gold.  

I think ordinary mortals should have a shot at this Survivor game.  It might bring us to our knees and make us genuinely humble.  I’m sure that undomesticated wild living is not for everyone, but it might be the cure for human arrogance.  How can anyone act proud and mighty when there’s a roof to be built, fish to be caught, and fire to be ignited?  Besides, the cold night can snuff out anyone’s smoldering fire for sure.

Can you imagine waking up with unidentified insects walking all over your body?  Can you even picture yourself going on food ration every day?  What about sleeping at night with eyes wide open looking out for the wild’s crawling creepy creatures?  Or not sleeping at all because the weather won’t let you?  What about the matter of hygiene… not having soap and bath tissue at your disposal?  And bathing in sea waters that might contain crocodile crap as one of the elements?

I’m certain that this kind of lifestyle is normal for many tribes in other countries.  And the tribe folks probably have grown to love that kind of living.  But Americans who have been raised with good plumbing in their homes, a nice little room for bathroom duty, comfortable linens and pillowcases on their beds, and three meals a day to enjoy without climbing up a coconut tree… jungle lifestyle will be hell on earth for certain.  My hat off to the players who took time out of their busy work life to experience the jungle creature lifestyle... messing with other people's mind... stabbing them in the back... and in the process, risking their clean-cut image in real life.  My hope is that their personal sacrifices were all worth it!

Besides taking care of Jeff Probst’s financial future, the Survivor television franchise has left a wonderful legacy to the avid viewers, giving us an up-close look at life on the other rugged side… the life devoid of material conveniences and advantages. The show took us inside a world that reveals that without creature comforts, people in our nicely organized world can react drastically different to the same situation in a state of deprivation.  Most of the players proved the authentic Survivor spirit of making it in the jungle with whatever it took.  They may have often snapped along the way.  Broken bonding ties.  Food and sleep deprivation can do that to people. It’s obvious that a few lost their will to fight before the end, probably because in their comfortable real worlds, everything was convenient and that kind of living had spoiled them rotten. 

Manifesting the dream

The Barbara Walters special featuring Oprah Winfrey's "The Next Chapter" was on the other week.  The footage of Oprah's first ever interview with Walters was shown.  It was where Oprah told Walters:  “I was born for greatness.”  That was 22 years ago when many of the grand things that Oprah has publicly accomplished were purely fragments of brilliance in her mind.  Many folks who watched that first interview might have thought that Oprah was talking big.  The truth is, she was simply speaking from her heart.

Today people might think that either Oprah had a crystal ball or that she belongs to a rare breed of human beings who know exactly their path in life.  It seems obvious that early on in her television career, she knew what her divine mission was on earth.  Because of her right-on confidence, the appropriate opportunities and right people came into her life.  That being-with-the-right-people-at-the-right-time blessing allowed her to fulfill her divine purpose.

It was in Oprah’s show that I was introduced to a marvelous belief called divine destiny.  That knowing what it is that we’re here on earth to accomplish will attract the forces that will make that authentic mission come true.  You see, people aren’t in this world to simply live an insignificant existence.  Unfortunately, that is the typical path that many earth inhabitants choose to take to their grave.  But if we just find the time to pause and reflect, asking a Divine Power for enlightenment, we’ll be able to find out the profound reason for our being.  You see, there is always a method to the madness!  

Twenty-two years ago when Oprah said with confidence, “I was born for greatness,” it was her core coming to the fore. At the same time, she was manifesting what, in her heart, was her life's fondest wish.  She wanted to make a difference to as many human beings she could touch.  By speaking her purpose out loud, she reached out to the millions of people who were tuned in to the Walters’ show, and she attracted the divine energy to make her prophecy come to pass.  Someone said that “our thoughts become our destiny,” and that’s exactly what Oprah accomplished.  She owned her fate and she got it!

Oprah is not only one of America's richest self-made women, the 2010 Forbes International Billionaire List cites her as the world's richest African-American. Her billion dollar wealth comes from the Oprah Winfrey Empire which includes her media network (Harpo Studios) that air her television talk show (The Oprah Winfrey Show), real estate ventures, production company (Harpo Films), magazine publication (O, The Oprah Magazine), satellite radio channel (Oprah Radio) and private charity (The Oprah Winfrey Foundation) .  Her media network has expanded to her own cable channel (OWN) which launches in January 2011.

What I learned from Oprah’s “I was born for greatness” statement becoming her reality is that even non-public citizens like you and me can manifest our desired future.  A psychic friend (Catherine) once told me to take a moment in the morning to visualize where I want to be and to do the same later in the day.   If I take the time to commit to this daily exercise, I’ll make that vision my own truth in no time at all.  She’s absolutely right! 

Even just wanting something so bad can be a good thing.  For instance, this weekend my best friend (Josie B.) attended a holiday gathering where TV sets were prizes to be raffled off.  Right away, she set her eyes on one, trained her heart to want it, and before the evening was over, her name was drawn as a prize winner!

Based on Oprah's multi-faceted accomplishments, there's no doubt that setting her sight on something is a practice that she does without fail... and with passion.  The vision of successfully achieved goals is most likely the fuel that keeps her adrenaline pumping.  She not only has the Midas touch, she has a heart of gold.  She loves to take care of the people who take care of her.  That must certainly be the secret to her billion dollar success!

What I love about this woman is her unadulterated no holds barred attitude on just about anything.  Sincerity, an increasingly scarce attribute among public figures, is definitely one of her lovable virtues.  The authentic person that she is puts many public personas to shame.  Frankly, I'm not sure that there's anyone like her on this planet. 

If you think that Oprah has reached the peak of her “greatness” and might be considering fading into the sunset, think again.  From her mouth to Walters’ ear:  “It’s just the beginning.”

The blessing of believing

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been a Roman Catholic.  Throughout my early school years, Sundays were spent attending the Holy Mass in Latin, responding, “Et cum spiritu tuo” to every priest’s “Dominus vobiscum.”  I didn’t exactly know what I was repeating back then as growing up bilingual was confusing enough for me, but it felt good to follow the prayers in a dead language.

Today when I read about people of substance who are self-proclaimed atheists, I can’t help but feel sad.  These people whom a Supreme Being blessed with remarkable skills and talents that made them world-famous don’t even acknowledge His existence!  If you’re a Roman Catholic like me, you might feel extremely disappointed too.

You see, I’ve always believed that a Higher Power (the Invisible Someone) is responsible for everything around us.  In the same manner that when a new technological device comes out in the market, a brilliant mind was behind its invention.  My religion teachers taught me that the universe was created in six days and on the seventh (Sabbath) day, the Great Designer took a day of rest.  I never questioned this belief, always taking it as gospel truth.  Come to think of it, there must be Someone more powerful and more intelligent than human beings Who designed our universe, the other planets, the lunar and solar systems and global climates.  Landscaping with trees and flowers to make our world look good.  Planting crops to nourish our bodies.  Breeding the animal kingdom in interesting colors, shapes and forms.  Teaching the pioneer inhabitants how to build houses to protect themselves from extreme weather conditions,  Showing them how to put together clothing to keep them warm.  Designing the layout of mountains and oceans.  God was not content to populate the earth with human beings who speak only one language.  He created countries with a variety of dialects and speech patterns and had the inhabitants follow customs and traditions unique to their locations.  Someone with a multilingual and multinational Mind was obviously responsible for that idea.

Even the telephone lines haven’t ceased to amaze me.  How is it possible that people can speak to someone with clarity thousands of miles away?  In another country… another continent?  Even on another planet?  The computer is another amazing invention.  I click on the mouse and instantly get to go to different places in the world!  I agree that human genius made all this advanced technology possible, but Someone with an infinite and absolute power allowed it to happen. He made it alright for telephone lines to go beyond boundaries and circuits to work across the globe.  Now there’s the skype phenomenon which allows people anywhere in the world to see each other while conversing over the telephone line.  If we take a moment to ponder on these incredible advancements in technology, we won’t find it hard to believe in God.

I never had a difficult time being awed by such creations because, fortunately, I grew up believing in that Amazing Divine Entity I’ve always called God.  He is Good and Generous.  All He expects from each and every one is to use the skills and talents we were given for the common good.  Here’s what I believe:  If we ever find ourselves in trouble, and we want to get pulled from out of that unhappy hole, all we need to do is to find a moment in our busy lives to chat with Him.  Call it a conversation with God.  Get the grief out of our system.  (If our partners and significant others won't give us the time of day, God will let us have that one-on-one.)  Plead our case that we deserve a better life.  (God is the fairest Judge in the universe and He will grant what we deserve.)  If we believe that our miserable plight will be resolved, in God’s time it will happen.  But I also believe that the favorable response might happen quicker to those who do more good than bad.  Although it's true that bad things can happen to good people, many times the reason is to simply test their faith and fortitude.   

The reason that I have come to love this Internet activity called blogging is that it allows me to use my God-given gift.  In addition, writing to an anonymous audience has allowed me to share my innermost thoughts with anyone out there who cares to be moved.  My hope is to make someone smile... question... think... and ponder.  If one soul gets uplifted from something I say, that would be my amazing reward.  But the priceless compensation for me is to be able to convince a non-believer that our God-given universe is a gift to human kind for which we should be grateful.

I’m most thankful to my God for showing me a wonderful way to not put the talent I was blessed with to waste.  As long as something needs to be said and shared, and whether anyone likes it or not, I’ll continue to blog my private thoughts.  So help me, God!