Once in a while I like to go out of the office and spend a leisurely lunch. I’ve done this a few times recently, with just me and my shadow.
One day not too long ago, a couple of female associates asked me to join them for lunch at an all-you-can-eat, busy eatery a nice drive from the office. The buffet offerings were the answer to human starvation, a genuine gustatory delight. Appetizers that tantalized the taste buds. Soup varieties that refreshed the soul. Delectable meats that tickled the palate. Fresh vegetables and salads to die for. Desserts that were sinfully delicious.
For someone who got used to blah homemade sandwiches and Mexican burritos for the daily lunch at the office, that rare treat at the buffet table was, at the risk of sounding cheesily trite, sheer manna from heaven. I was enjoying my first full work meal for the first time in a long while when my associates started talking about our workplace. As it turned out, the whole lunch time turned out to be a gripe session.
Both women had bones to pick with the man who managed their department. Hearing them share their not-so-titillating work experiences, I did sympathize with their plight. I never wear blinders to the office and the women simply verbalized what I had known for a long time: Our office environment was a Boys’ Club... continues to be so... and always will be! The female employees may get the second class citizen treatment, real or imagined, but the door isn't locked or permanently shut. No one is held hostage and anyone can easily leave if they can't stand the male dominant setting.
Although one can say that an unEqual Opportunity Employer ambiance exists in our company, if a female associate felt unhappy enough, she could always walk out the door. Fortunately, my situation isn’t as bad as the two women’s experiences. Although it’s a Boys' Club alright, my relationship with the guys have always been cordial and comfortable. In fact, one male associate who left years ago still contacts me by e-mail. Another one who moved up the corporate ladder in his company even asked me if I would work there. I have always received a lot of respect from the males in the office and perhaps it’s due to the fact that I’ve always been respectful of boundaries. For the past seven years, I’ve come to work and did my job without getting in anyone’s way.
My belief is that if a woman reports for duty, does her job to the best of her ability, doesn’t “shit” where she “eats” (pardon my obscene language, but you know what I mean) and doesn’t bite the hand that feeds her, she should be fine. After all, we’re not looking for long-lasting friendships with the people with whom we share our workplace, but if it happens, it’s a lovely bonus!
It certainly feels good to rant and rave about the injustices in the work jungle. I agree, it's a good exercise to do it once in a while. Just get it out of our system so that we can breathe easier! It might actually be good for our mental health and will save us the expense at the shrink’s office. But once the venting lunch is done and we walk through the office door, the boss expects the best performance from us… and we better deliver.
